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Headlines & Links For Thursday, March 18th, 2010.


GLEE LIVE! IN CONCERT! ADDS MORE DATES! (Read More)	BETTY WHITE TO GUEST STAR IN SEASON FINALE EPISODE OF "THE MIDDLE" (Read More)	FOX ORDERS THIRD HELPING OF “KITCHEN NIGHTMARES” (Read More)

'AMERICA'S GOT TALENT' WILL TAPE SHOWS IN CITIES ACROSS AMERICA       (Read More)

NBC ADDS NEW ALTERNATIVE SERIES TO SUMMER 2010 PROGRAM LINEUP       (Read More)

The CW, Workshop Creative and PromaxBDA Present: “Making the Cut IV”       (Read More)

CELEBRITY CHEF BOBBY FLAY IS MIXING IT UP ON NBC'S NEW REALITY COMPETITION SERIES 'AMERICA'S NEXT GREAT RESTAURANT' PREMIERING NEXT SEASON       (Read More)

BETTY WHITE HOSTS NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' ON MAY 8       (Read More)

QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" March 8 - March 12       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things That Sound Cool When Said by Snoop Dogg"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Signs Your Spend Too Much Time on Twitter"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Congressman"       (Read More)

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Questions Rod Blagojevich Asked Himself Before Appearing on "Celebrity Apprentice".       (Read More)

GLEE LIVE! IN CONCERT! ADDS MORE DATES!

Los Angeles, Ca., March 12th, 2010.               Due to overwhelming popular demand, Twentieth Century Fox Television and “Glee” co-creator Ryan Murphy have announced four more concert dates for “Glee Live! In Concert!,” bringing the total number of shows in the four-city tour to eleven.

“We are so excited to announce that we are adding more concerts in L.A. and New York,” commented Murphy. “The enthusiasm of the fans during the pre-sale has been incredibly gratifying and beyond anyone’s expectations. This series is a labor of love for all of us and I am thrilled to say that we are putting together a show that will wow everyone from the most jaded concert-goer to the most passionate ‘Gleek’”.

Beginning Saturday, May 15 at the Dodge Theatre in Phoenix, Arizona, “Glee” stars Lea Michele (Rachel), Cory Monteith (Finn), Amber Riley (Mercedes), Chris Colfer (Kurt), Kevin McHale (Artie), Jenna Ushkowitz (Tina), Mark Salling (Puck), Dianna Agron (Quinn), Naya Rivera (Santana), Heather Morris (Brittany), Harry Shum, Jr. (Mike) and Dijon Talton (Matt) will perform in a singing and dancing celebration of the Golden Globe Award winning show.

The four-city exclusive engagement, “Glee Live! In Concert!,” is a unique concert experience conceived by Murphy that will include live performances of some of the show’s most memorable musical numbers including its anthem “Don’t Stop Believin,” fan favorites “Somebody To Love” and “Jump” and hits “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and “Sweet Caroline”.

2010 Glee Live! In Concert! dates:

May 15            Phoenix, AZ                Dodge Theatre

May 20            Los Angeles, CA         Gibson Amphitheatre

May 21            Los Angeles, CA         Gibson Amphitheatre

May 22            Los Angeles, CA       Gibson Amphitheatre          MATINEE ADDED!

May 22            Los Angeles, CA       Gibson Amphitheatre          EVENING SHOW ADDED!

May 25            Chicago, IL                  Rosemont Theatre

May 26            Chicago, IL                  Rosemont Theatre

May 28            New York City, NY      Radio City Music Hall

May 29            New York City, NY    Radio City Music Hall           MATINEE ADDED!

May 29            New York City, NY      Radio City Music Hall

May 30            New York City, NY    Radio City Music Hall           EVENING SHOW ADDED!

Select tickets are now available to American Express cardholders in an exclusive pre-sale; tickets go on sale to the general public Friday, March 12 at 10 a.m. for the concert in Phoenix, and Saturday, March 13 at 9:00 AM for the concerts in N.Y.C. and 10:00 AM for L.A. and Chicago. Evening performances begin at 8 p.m. and matinees start at 3 p.m.Tickets will be available via www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at (800) 745-3000 or at any Ticketmaster Outlet. Tickets will be available at the Dodge Theatre, Gibson Amphitheater and Rosemont Theatre box offices as well. Ticket prices range from $89.50-$39.50. “Glee Live! In Concert!” has also teamed with I Love All Access to provide a variety of fan ticket packages for the show, including premium seats, parties and more. For more information, please visit “Glee” at www.gleetour2010.com

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BETTY WHITE TO GUEST STAR IN SEASON FINALE EPISODE OF "THE MIDDLE"

Los Angeles, Ca., March 12th, 2010.               Multiple Emmy Award winner and social media sensation Betty White will guest star in the season finale episode of "The Middle," which will air in May. "The Middle" airs WEDNESDAYS (8:30-9:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network and stars Emmy winner Patricia Heaton.

In the episode, which shoots next week, Ms. White will play a school librarian who confronts Brick (Atticus Shaffer) over his failure to return numerous overdue books.

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FOX ORDERS THIRD HELPING OF “KITCHEN NIGHTMARES”

Los Angeles, Ca., March 17th, 2010.               FOX has ordered a third season of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES, the ultimate restaurant revival show, it was announced today by Mike Darnell, President of Alternative Entertainment, Fox Broadcasting Company.

During the third season, Michelin-starred Chef Gordon Ramsay will travel the country visiting restaurants that are in desperate need of his help. With Ramsay’s reputation on the line, he will demand absolute excellence and perfection from the owners as he gives them advice on everything from food and décor to customer service and staff changes. With some training and reinforcement, Ramsay hopes to help breathe new life into these failing eateries or else many will be forced to close their doors forever.

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'AMERICA'S GOT TALENT' WILL TAPE SHOWS IN CITIES ACROSS AMERICA

Universal City, Ca., March 11th, 2010.               NBC's top-rated summer show "America's Got Talent," will tape shows in front of a live audience in cities across the country beginning this Friday, March 12, and Saturday, March 13, in Los Angeles. After Los Angeles, the #1 talent competition series will travel to Portland, Dallas, Orlando, New York and Chicago through March and April.

Host Nick Cannon, returning judges Sharon Osbourne and Piers Morgan as well as this season's new judge, comedian Howie Mandel, will be at each taping.

To attend a taping please apply for tickets at: http://www.ocatv.com/. If viewers would still like to audition for season five, videos can be submitted online only at www.agtauditions.com.

Upcoming tape dates and locations are as follows:

DALLAS, TEX.
March 25-26
The Music Hall at Fair Park
909 1st Avenue
Dallas, Tex.

ORLANDO, FLA.
April 7- 8
Hard Rock Live/Cafe Orlando
6050 Universal Boulevard
Orlando, Fla.

NEW YORK CITY
April 21-23
The Hammerstein Ballroom
Manhattan Center Studios
311 West 34th Street
New York City

CHICAGO, ILL.
April 27-28
The Chicago Theatre
175 N. State Street
Chicago, Ill.

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NBC ADDS NEW ALTERNATIVE SERIES TO SUMMER 2010 PROGRAM LINEUP

Universal City, Ca., March 16th, 2010.               NBC announced today the premiere date of an additional alternative series joining its previously announced summer 2010 schedule as "Losing It with Jillian" will debut on Tuesday, June 1 (10-11 p.m. ET) starring Jillian Michaels from NBC's hit weight loss show "The Biggest Loser."

The premiere will follow the debut of the summer's top rated series "America's Got Talent" and then move into its regular time slot, Tuesdays (8-9 p.m. ET) on June 8.

In the hour-long series, Michaels -- in her distinctive, tough love style -- will tackle the obesity epidemic of American families head on as she travels across the country to transform one family at a time.

In the series, Michaels will be moving in with a different family each week to help change their diet and exercise habits. She will focus on getting to the bottom of the issues each family member faces -- ones that affect their health and happiness -- and will arm them with the tools necessary to make life-altering changes. The families are in for a huge wake up call as Michaels -- tired of hearing all the excuses -- will show America that anyone can make a change.

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The CW, Workshop Creative and PromaxBDA Present: “Making the Cut IV”

Los Angeles, Ca., March 12th, 2010.                   Think you have what it takes to work in TV? Think you know your favorite show better than anyone? Now’s your chance to prove it! The CW is offering college students the opportunity to create a non-traditional trailer for one of the The CW’s hit shows and have it air on TV.

If you are a college student, “Making the Cut “ is challenging you to create a killer trailer that could jump start your creative career by winning an Unpaid internship at The CW Television Network. Did we mention your spot could air on TV? That’s right, your trailer airing on one of the biggest television networks on the planet. Does it get any better than that?

With today’s ever-changing media outlets, viewers are seeking out compelling and original content. The traditional way of promoting a television show is changing. Viewers and fans have an overwhelming passion for their favorite programs, and are generating their own trailers, commercials, video blogs, and personal content. This is where you come in!

The creative objective of this competition (and don’t forget this is a competition) is to put together a piece of non-traditional promotion that captures the essence of one of the following shows:

Gossip Girl
90210
Supernatural
The Vampire Diaries

To participate in Making the Cut, you’ll need to register and create a profile. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be able to download footage from the show you’ve selected, read some valuable advice from TV marketing professionals, and learn about companies that are making their music libraries and their roster of voice-over talent available to you for this project.

Deadline for submissions is April 23, so you’d better get started soon.

Contestants must be 18 years of age or older and a legal U.S. resident to be eligible.

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CELEBRITY CHEF BOBBY FLAY IS MIXING IT UP ON NBC'S NEW REALITY COMPETITION SERIES 'AMERICA'S NEXT GREAT RESTAURANT' PREMIERING NEXT SEASON

Universal City, Ca., March 12th, 2010.               Critically acclaimed celebrity chef/restaurateur Bobby Flay ("Iron Chef America: The Series") is the first of five key restaurant and business leaders to join NBC's new reality competition series "America's Next Great Restaurant" (working title) premiering next season. Flay will be an investor, judge and sometimes mentor to the zealous contestants who are vying for arguably the biggest prize in reality show history -- the opportunity to open a new restaurant chain in three cities across America.

Open casting calls for the series are set to take place March 19 - April 5 in New York City, New York (March 19, 20), Raleigh, North Carolina (March 22), Nashville, Tennessee (March 24), Columbus, Ohio (March 26), Chicago, Illinois (March 28), Kansas City, Kansas (March 30), Denver, Colorado (April 1) and Los Angeles, California (April 5).

The reality competition series is from Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz of Magical Elves, the Emmy Award-nominated producers of "Project Runway" and "Top Chef."

Flay will kick off the first open casting call in New York as casting teams set out on a cross-country bus tour to scour the nation for potential contestants. Participants do not need to have any cooking or restaurant experience -- just a great idea for a unique restaurant concept.

Flay joins a select panel of some of the most important names in both the dining and business worlds who will ultimately select the winner. These individuals will invest their own money in the final restaurant chain, and will have a huge stake in the game's winner. These larger-than-life personalities will offer the hopeful restaurateurs their expertise, support -- and the kind of tough love it will take to overcome great odds. Ultimately, after much-heated debates, the panel will choose the winning concept and decide which idea will become America's newest restaurant chain.

Thousands of ideas will be narrowed down and then each week the investors will put the chosen few through rigorous challenges to discover which contestant's concept has the greatest potential for success. The stakes have never been higher for the contestants and the investors. One contestant's dream will become a reality.

Flay, star of "Iron Chef America: The Series" and "Throwdown with Bobby Flay," shows his culinary versatility in the multiple talents he brings to the field as a chef/restaurateur, award-winning cookbook author and television personality. Most importantly, he is a leading restaurateur.

Interested applicants for the series should log onto nbc.com/casting to pre-register for an open casting call at one of the eight stops on the nationwide casting bus tour. Along with a filled out and signed application and a photo-ID, casting teams want applicants to bring anything they feel would help pitch their restaurant concept. Elements could be visual, edible or even wearable and applicants will have a limited time to pitch their idea.

Visitors also can follow the bus tour on Twitter @magicalelves with photos and video, and also at NBC.com/americas-next-great-restaurant.

The audition dates and locations follow:

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK
Friday, March 19 & Saturday, March 20
NBC Experience Store
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, New York 10112
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA
Monday, March 22
Chipotle
6102 Falls of Neuse Rd.
Raleigh, North Carolina 27609
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
Wednesday, March 24
Nashville Film Institute
The Factory at Franklin
230 Franklin Road
Franklin, Tennessee 37065
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

COLUMBUS, OHIO
Friday, March 26
Chipotle
4750 Morse Rd
Columbus, Ohio 43230
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
Sunday, March 28
Chipotle
28251 Diehl Road
Warrenville, Illinois 60555
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

KANSAS CITY, KANSAS
Tuesday, March 30
Chipotle
6864 Johnson Drive
Mission, Kansas 66202
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

DENVER, COLORADO
Thursday, April 1
Chipotle
2760 South Colorado Blvd
Denver, Colorado 80222
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
Monday, April 5
Chipotle
135 E. Palm Avenue
Burbank, California 91502
10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

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BETTY WHITE HOSTS NBC'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE' ON MAY 8

New York, N.Y., March 11th, 2010.               Legendary and multiple Emmy Award winner Betty White will take her long-anticipated turn at hosting NBC's "Saturday Night Live" on May 8. White will make her first appearance in Studio 8H.

The six-time Emmy winner and cultural icon will host "SNL" for the first time in her illustrious seven-decade-long career. White is best known for her performance as Rose Nylund on NBC's "The Golden Girls," the beloved comedy series that aired from 1985 to 1992. Previously, she co-starred as Sue Ann Nivens in the classic comedy series "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."

In January, White was the proud recipient of the 2010 SAG Lifetime Achievement Award. White appeared in the 2009 romantic-comedy feature film "The Proposal," alongside Ryan Reynolds and Oscar winner Sandra Bullock, and can be seen again this fall in the film "You Again," starring Kristin Bell.

"I can't think of a better way to spend Mother's Day weekend than with Betty White " said Lorne Michaels, Creator and Executive Producer of SNL.

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QUOTABLES FROM "LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON" March 8 - March 12

"Hey, how you guys feeling? Did everyone watch the Oscars last night? Or as I like to call it, James Cameron's own personal "Hurt Locker."

"It was a big night for The Hurt Locker, which of course is a film about the war in Iraq. I guess that explains why Obama called the director, and was like, "Uh, how did you end it?"

"Actually, the film's director, Kathryn Bigelow, was seated right in front of James Cameron, who's also her ex-husband. Wow, how do you say "awkward" in Na'vi??"

"I don't know if you saw this, while accepting the Oscar for best documentary, one of the producers of "The Cove" held up a sign telling people to text the word "Dolphin" to 4-4-1-4-4. I kind of hope people get their texts mixed up, cuz it would be so awesome to see a dolphin win American Idol."

"I don't know if this is just me, but it seemed like the cameras kept cutting to George Clooney the whole night. It was crazy. But then I figured it out: the Oscars were directed by my mom."

"A lot of people are talking about Sandra Bullock's dress, which reminded some critics of a figure skating costume. The only difference is a figure skating costume would be twice as frilly and worn by a dude."

"President Obama has been really busy, he's making his final push on health care reform. Yesterday, Obama warned that insurance companies "will continue to drop people's coverage when they need it." Or as iPhone users call that, "the AT&T option."

"This is cool. President Obama is going to hold a major "Space Conference" to unveil an ambitious new plan for NASA. Yeah, Obama called it "One small step for man, one giant distraction from healthcare, two wars and the recession."

"At Obama's space conference, he plans to tell the world that he wants to put a man on Mars. The man he wants to put there? Joe Biden."

"Listen to this. Scientists in Italy are trying to bring back a giant, 6-foot-5 cow from extinction that lived 400 years ago. Cuz it's always a great idea to bring back a giant, dangerous version of an animal we've been murdering for thousands of years."

"Meanwhile, drunk high school students are already trying to figure out a way to tip it over."

"This is just weird. I was reading that on Friday, yellow snow started falling in eastern Russia. Or as locals described it to their children, "God is peeing on you."

"And finally, a company in Hungary created a rotating chandelier designed to look like a solar eclipse. And today, Lady Gaga asked if they had it in a small."

"How are you guys feeling tonight? Let's get right to the news. The White House unveiled its official eggs for the 2010 Easter Egg Roll on April 5. The official eggs come in purple, pink, green, and why are we talking about Easter eggs instead of health care?"

"I don't know if you saw this. Yesterday, President Obama hosted the Alabama Crimson Tide football team at the White House. At one point the quarterback threw a football to Obama, which was the first time during his presidency that anything's gotten passed."

"Check this out. A new study found that eating too much fruit can cause obesity and tooth decay. So next time you see a 300 lb guy with no teeth, don't judge him - he's probably just a health freak."

"This was really scary. Yesterday in San Diego, a man called the police when the accelerator on his Prius got stuck and made his car go 90 miles an hour. Luckily, the man was able to stop his car when he ran into another Toyota going in the opposite direction."

"A man in California was arrested for threatening to launch an email spam attack against his insurance company. He'll now go to prison, where he'll be annoyed with constant offers to "improve his sex life."

"Listen to this. In a new interview with Teen Vogue, Miley Cyrus says she and her boyfriend are "deeper than normal people" and that she was also happy to be moving on from Hannah Montana. And then her boyfriend was like, "Oh my God - YOU'RE Hannah Montana? No way! I'm a huge fan!"

"This is important for all you dog owners. Nature's Variety is recalling chicken-flavored pet food because of salmonella. Yeah, in the meantime, dogs will have to settle for their other favorite food - ANYTHING."

"Speaking of dogs, a new survey found that 87 percent of dog owners believe that dogs are more intelligent than we think. And they defended that belief by talking to their dogs the way we talk to ALL intelligent creatures "who has to go pee pee? Who has to go pee pee?! Go pee pee! Go pee pee!"

"How's everybody feeling? Just a word of warning tonight - anybody in the audience who refuses to laugh will be tickled by former Congressman Eric Massa."

"You guys know what I'm talking about? Congressman Massa was asked whether he groped a male staffer and he said, "Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. That's your explanation? That's borderline inappropriate on your FIFTH birthday."

"That's right, he said, "I groped him, I tickled him and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday." I don't know how Massa's gonna top that for his 60th birthday, but experts say he's gonna have to travel to Thailand to do it."

"Hey, today is No Smoking Day - where smokers are supposed to quit cigarettes for the day. Yeah, No Smoking Day - or as Sasha and Malia call it, "Daddy's in a Really Bad Mood Day."

"But here's some good news for smokers. Facebook has a new application that helps users quit smoking. After that, people can move on to finding a cure for their OTHER addiction - Facebook."

"Everyone's still talking about health care. Yesterday, the White House said that it wants to pass the health care bill by March 18. Or March 19. But at the very, very latest, March 21. Unless they have to wait until March 23. In which case, they definitely want to pass it by April 6. Or April 8. Definitely by April 10. April 6 thru April 10 or possibly April 12? April 12, 2025. If not then, 2027. If that doesn't come to fruition, it's cutting off at 2040. There you go, we'll have the healthcare bill by 2040. Hopefully."

"We've been having some great weather here in New York. Isn't it awesome outside? Last week it was in the 20's and yesterday it got up to 59 degrees. It's crazy, I keep having to change my outfit AND my position on global warming."

"I don't know what to make of this. There's a company in New Jersey that allows people to "rent a friend." Yeah, they have those companies everywhere--they're called whore houses."

"Did you hear this? The Pope's brother, Reverend George Ratzinger, admitted to slapping students in a German boys' choir. In his defense, you'd be angry too if you were the Pope's brother and you only made it to Reverend. Every family event is like, "This is Reverend Ratzinger, and you know THE POPE."

"Oh, I was reading that Bob Barker just donated 2.5 million dollars to help PETA open new offices in Los Angeles. And this is pretty annoying - the guy next to him is offering 2.5 million and one."

"Check this out. A horse-and-carriage driver in Central Park was suspended for 30 days for drinking on the job. The guy didn't do himself any favors when the cops pulled him over, and he tried to switch places with the horse. "Trust me, just get in there and pretend. Be cool."

"Yesterday, a newspaper in Belgium released a 3D paper along with special 3D glasses to read it. Yeah, the first headline they printed said "Breaking news: you look like a jackass."

"This is cool. Here in New York, 31 life-sized statues will be placed on rooftops as part of a public art installation. That's good to know, just so I don't spend 30 minutes yelling "Don't do it!" at a chunk of iron."

"And finally, doctors in China just performed surgery to remove a 5-inch tail from a baby girl. Either that, or they just made a horrible mistake with a baby boy."

"How are you guys feeling tonight? Did you hear about this? Yesterday, Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton were at an event and Michelle said she almost referred to Hillary as "President Clinton" by mistake. Then Hillary was like, "Hahaha. Seriously, would you, though?"

"Any fans of Twilight in the audience? Well, the trailer for the new Twilight movie, "Eclipse," came out today, and Taylor Lautner is shown not wearing a shirt. So I guess we can put Congressman Eric Massa down as "Team Jacob."

"Former Congressman Massa just keeps getting into more and more trouble. One of Massa's former shipmates says he used to give his subordinates massages, and called them, "Massa Massages." Which is why the Navy's policy toward Massa was "Don't ask, because it's pretty obvious isn't it?"

"And then Massa's old roommate in the Navy said he woke up one night to find Massa in his bed, undoing his pants and trying to "snorkel" him. I don't know what snorkeling someone is, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it doesn't involve a snorkel."

"It turns out Eric Massa was living in a house in D.C. with a bunch of young, single male staffers. Massa described the house as just a bunch of guys doing guy stuff. While the male staffers described it as a den of awkwardness."

"This is pretty interesting. A new study found that 82 percent of Americans depend on God for help with making decisions. And God is totally cool with that - most of the time. Once in a while he's like "It's a couch, Gary - just pick one and leave me alone. I don't know, the blue one."

"Check this out Karl Rove's memoir "Courage and Consequence" is the best-selling book on Amazon.com. The book costs 19.99, but it comes with free shipping and "mishandling."

"Here's some business news for you guys. Men's Wearhouse lost 18.9 million dollars in the fourth quarter. When he spoke to the shareholders, the company's president was like, "You're not gonna like the way this looks - I guarantee it."

"And finally, a woman in South Africa who survived a 3,000-foot skydiving fall says she was pushed out of the plane by her instructor. The instructor was like "Okay, I admit it, I was wrong - but seriously, you should have seen your face."

"How's everyone feeling tonight? Oh, just a quick reminder - daylight Savings Time begins this weekend - everyone's setting the clocks ahead an hour. Or if you're Congressman Eric Massa, you're wishing you could set them back about a week."

"Yup, Daylight Savings Time, which means you lose an hour of sleep. Of course, if you're roommates with Congressman Massa, it's just safer not to fall asleep at all. You might get snorkeled."

"I don't know if you heard this, the House just voted to have a Congressional probe into Eric Massa's behavior. Massa was like, "You're gonna probe me? Awesome!"

"Some news from the car industry. Yesterday, Toyota said it's "mystified" by the incident in San Diego where a Prius accelerated to 94 miles an hour. Great - nothing instills confidence like an official statement of, "Eh?"

"This is scary. Federal officials just revealed that a member of al-Qaida worked at 3 nuclear power plants in New Jersey for 6 years. Wait, there are THREE nuclear power plants in New Jersey? Well, I guess that explains Snookie."

"Listen to this. A man in San Francisco has created an electronic glove that lets you play "rock paper scissors" on your own. Do nerds not ever get to a point in life where it's just easier to make one friend?"

"Nah, I'll just stay home and invent a glove robot. No big deal. Should only take a me 8 or 9 years."

"I couldn't believe this. A 75-year-old great-grandmother in Poland was arrested for riding her bicycle drunk. I'm sorry did I say great grandmother? I meant GREATEST grandmother."

"Check this out. A man in China proposed to his girlfriend by diving into a giant tank at an aquarium and holding up a sign that said "Please marry me!" Onlookers described the man as crazy, but romantic, while the sharks described him as salty, but sweet."

"Did you hear this? Two male college students in Britain just broke a record after they hugged each other for 24 hours and 17 minutes. Yeah, immediately after, they got a call from Congressman Eric Massa, asking if they wanted to break another record."

"Oh man, this is unbelievable. A 2-year-old boy climbed into one of those prize machines with the claw and got stuck inside. The worst part - it took his dad like ten hours to win him back. "Man! Almost got him!"

"And finally, Amy Winehouse is starting her own clothing line. On her shirts' washing instructions, it says, "Wash??? Hehe. Yeah right."

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things That Sound Cool When Said by Snoop Dogg"

As presented by musician Snoop Dogg on the Tuesday, March 16 broadcast

10.       "Yo."

9.         "I'm following Wolf Blitzer on Twitter."

8.         "Let's go to the Gap and buy underpants."

7.         "Shalom and happy Purim to all."

6.         "Instead of eating Haagen-Dazs, I might as well apply it directly to my thighs. Am I right, ladies?"

5.         "In the words of Ernie Anastos, ‘Keep plucking that chicken.'"

4.         "John Mayer is like sexual napalm."

3.         "Could you please pass the Rice-a-motha-******-Roni?"

2.         "My CD ‘More Malice' is available March 23^rd - and if you illegally download it, I'm comin' to your house."

1.         "I'm just a simple old hockey mom from Alaska, you betcha."

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Signs Your Spend Too Much Time on Twitter"

As presented on the Monday, March 15 broadcast.

10.       You miss son's soccer game waiting for Lady Gaga to post what she had for lunch.

9.         You answer the phone: "Twello?"

8.         You've spent millions developing iPhone waterproofing technology so you can tweet in the shower.

7.         You haven't touched your CB radio in months.

6.         You ask yourself, "What would Jesus tweet?"

5.         You sleep-tweet.

4.         No number 4 - writer on Twitter.

3.         You stopped paying attention to this list after the first 140 characters.

2.         Even Ashton Kutcher thinks you tweet too much.

1.         Walked in on the landscaper "retweeting" your wife.

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Things You Don't Want to Hear From Your Congressman"

As presented on the Thursday, March 11 broadcast.

10.       "Oh, suddenly I'm gay because I roll on the floor tickling men?"

9.         "Four o'clock - gropin' time."

8.         "Whoops, came to work naked again."

7.         "Too much mint, not enough julep."

6.         "Filibuster? I hardly know her!"

5.         "You're not wearing a wire, are you?"

4.         "Look, I don't know what snorkeling is, but stop doing it to me."

3.         "What would Eliot Spitzer do?"

2.         This [video plays of Rep. Eric Massa's interview with Glenn Beck]

1.         "Mind if I do a little polling?"

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THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN "Questions Rod Blagojevich Asked Himself Before Appearing on "Celebrity Apprentice".

As presented by former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich on the Wednesday, March 10 broadcast.

10.       "Can I get paid in shampoo?"

9.         "Would I rather stay unemployed than work for Trump?"

8.         "Should I bring my attorney?"

7.         "Do I have anything better to do?"

6.         "Is there any chance NBC will replace me with Leno?"

5.         "Can I get paid in conditioner?"

4.         "Haven't I been through enough?"

3.         "How about my own show, ‘The Haircut Ref?'"

2.         "How come I'm not a governor and Paterson is?"

1.         "Will my hair get along with Trump's hair?"

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